Complaining Blog

Posting pictures of yourself or spouse in a bikini/bathing suit. Seriously? People think that is ok? Apparently, because it is all over the place. Blogs, facebook, ... other stuff probably. People- Even if you or your spouse is super hot why would you want every single person on your blog/ facebook to be able to see that? Maybe I just don't get it because I look gross in a bikini. That doesn't change the fact that I think it is freakin weird.

If you are married your goodies are meant to be seen by your spouse only and any incidental bathing suit wear age is purely out of circumstantial need. That need does not include a bathing suit photo shoot in your parent's hot tub over thanksgiving that you proceed to post as your blog header and facebook profile picture. That is gross!

When you think about it, do you really want all those people checking out your spouse? I wouldn't. As attractive as I find my husband I do not think others would appreciate seeing his bathing suit business on the internet, and if they did like it I would be mad that they looked. That's mine to look at! No one elses!

Also, how hot do you really think you are, that you need every one on facebook to be able to see it- bikini style? Don't you feel any shame seeing yourself mostly naked on a computer screen? Plus isn't your spouse mad that everyone can ogle your goodies online? Did you think of that before you posted your almost nudie pics? Clearly not. You also did not consider that everyone else does not appreciate looking at you in your bathing suit.

Sure, take pictures at the beach, but for heavens sake, use a non-full body shot if you must display those pictures on the internet. If people want to see nearly naked bodies there are much hotter and more naked ones than yours to be seen online.

Everyone- don't put swim suit pictures of yourself online. It is wierd and gross and unpleasant to see. If you do at least have the decency to photoshop a bubble on top of it or something, so we don't have to be shocked and grossed out at your business.

Note: If you are single then posting bikini pictures of yourself is an acceptable practice, as it is considered a form of advertising. It is only when you are in a serious relationship that you need to knock that crap off.

I hate aggresive drivers. Do they really think that where they are going is more important that where everyone else is going? Today, a snowy, frozen ground kind of day, I saw a dude pull into a parking spot at the Chili's like he was in a hurry to warn people of the impending explosion of the earth. Really he was just coming to get a hamburger. What is his problem? Not only should he have been driving reasonably in the first place, but he should have been driving extra carefully since the ground was all icy, and yet he insisted on pulling into a parking spot at 35 mph and coming to a screeching halt. Why? What a d.b.

Short hair on girls, cold weather, poorly made scarves, my depressing lack of boobs, and stuck microwave doors. Also the popcorn store at the mall that stinks up the whole north wing, and the bunch of whores at the nail salon that always talk about you while doing your nails.

Plus I think I should note that I also hate people who think the cute way to write on their blog is LikE tHiS. Bad typing is not a joke people. It is real and it is a problem for us all.

People's blog music is retarded. Must it all be the most annoying song ever? Also does it have to blast out at a million decibals when you are least expecting it to turn on? Apparently yes, it does.

Dear Everyone- if you are over 11 years old you should not like listening to Natasha Bedingfield, and should not subject the rest of us to it either. It is gross! Also you should not have the same five songs on your blog as every single one of your lame friends does. Do you honestly all only like those same five songs? I really doubt it because they all suck and so do you. Listen to a grown up music if you are a grown up. I know that you think you are cool if you still listen to what the high school kids are listening to but I have bad news for you- high school music blows. There is a reason no one else in the world wants to listen to that stuff. It blows. Can you really imagine a cool adult having listened to Mmmm-bop? Even if it was cool when you were in high school doesn't mean it was cool to the rest of the world, and such is the case with all the crappy music that I have to listen to when I go to your blog. I am only there to make fun of you anyway, so I guess I shouldn't complain, but I should only have my sense of sight, intelligence and propriety insulted when doing that. Not my delicate ears too. Get with the program and choose some music that you didn't yoink from you little sister's mini-ipod while she was gone babysitting. Also, if that music is on someone else's blog that you visit regularly don't be a copy cat. Choose something of your very own. You wouldn't buy the same clothes as your friend- don't have the same blog music. It's just manners. It is also manners to choose things that are not going to start out blastingly loud and unexpectedly. Also good manners- posting pictures of yourself so I can see if you have gotten fat. Thanks for your cooperation.

XOxo

Working hard sucks. All this waking up and doing things...not for me. Someday I fully intend to be one of those obese people who live in bed. Everyone takes care of them and does tv shows about them. That sounds way easier than doing things for myself. I need to go buy some cake and get crackin on this latest of my genius schemes.

I don't want to cheapen my real blog with all my whining. So I'm gonna put it here.

1. Winter
2. Student Teaching
3. Menstruation
4. Sore Throats
5. Ugly



These are the sorts of things I will complain about on this blog. Feel free to complain along with me. It's delightfully relieving.