Complaining Blog

Seriously, whose idea was it, as a settler or nomad or whatever, to make their home in a place that was not warm? Why would a person who is wandering all over the earth anyway stop in a horrible place, thus setting the precedent for a vast population of people to inhabit the horrible place? I will never understand why, if there are nice places on the earth, people live by choice in the not nice places.

Basically I'm just complaining that the weather sucks. I hate winter and snow and days that the sun never shines. Poo poo poo on the poor weather.

There is nothing I despise more than standing in line. Really, is there anything in life more degrading than being forced to huddle together and slowly proceed to your destination like a bunch of cattle being herded? And it is never to anything cool; lines always lead to something like a cheap buffet or the cranky lady at the DMV. You know that those cashiers in the grocery store feel such a power trip when there is a line in their aisle. They know that they could close their register at anytime and then what would happen to the line? Everyone has to run as fast as they can to get in line somewhere else. It is quite humiliating. I doubt that celebrities or royalty ever have to submit to line-standing. It is something only "commoners" do. But the worst thing are people who stand too close to you in line. I am not kidding, I have had people nudge me repeatedly with their guts in an effort to get me to move up in line. Do they not understand how a line works? Do the think that if they are not standing directly on me there will be a sudden rush for their spot in line? Sometimes when people are standing too close to me I will start singing that song "Don't Stand So Close To Me." Not loud, just loud enough so the too-close stander can hear. Also I will stand way, way far back from the person in front of me because I know it bugs the person behind me. And so that they will learn proper line-standing etiquette.

Only two days ago I was in the sunshine in a bikini and I loved, loved, loved it. Today it was too cold outside for the elementary school kids to go out for recess. Only four hours apart by car, these locations were, but so many more miles apart in misery. I'l never understand how I made myself come back home. Or how I will make it to August before I move to a reasonable climate. Uugghhh. Stupid cold weather.

I have fairly small feet. It seems like there are a lot of girls who share this fate, but if that is the case why are there never shoes my size in stores? There are a lot of us who will buy them! Either everyone on earth gets to the store before I do, or not enough small shoe sizes are begin made. Any way it goes down it's bad news for me.

The worst part about the laundromat is that no matter what kind of detergent and dryer sheets you use, the clothes always come back smelling like poor people. Not to mention all the lugging clothes about and homeless people asleep in the back.

There is no proper weight for a celebrity to be. Everyone makes a big deal that they are anorexic if they are too skinny, but if they show even an ounce of womanly figure they are 'pregnant'. Then if they get kind of fatty they have to do a special in People Magazine about their weight problems, the the celebrity hires a personal trainer and loses a million pounds in a week and then there is another People Magazine special about how they lost all the weight. This is the most retarded thing to occupy one's mind and the fact that I even know about it frosts my cake. Personally I think it's healthier to err on the side of too skinny. It's easy for me to say that because I'm fat, so I don't have to worry about the health problems that come from being too thin. However, I would really prefer for people to just be mocked no matter what their weight is.

Being flat chested.
Bra shopping is the hardest thing ever. Why doesn't any bra manufacturer understand the plight of the small bosomed woman? My experience leads me to believe that all bras are made in a C cup size and then they take the same design and make it with a smaller cup, but the same shape of cup does not apply to an A as it does to a C. I have boobie needs here people! They consist of the following:

• Much padding, that will not get lumpy upon the first washing
• Very adjustable straps (my boobs are weirdly high ...I think that is what you would call it. I'm not sure. All I know is the straps are always too long so my boobs just kind of dangle in there, with and inch of space left at the bottom of the bra, which is where my boob should be.)
• Durability. Again with the washing thing. I do not appreciate a brazier that falls apart and gets all stretchy if it gets washed. I can handle air drying them, but I refuse to hand wash my bras. Too much time, plus it seems gross.
• Padding on the front, not just the bottom. I think bra makers are assuming that I have something to push up, but I'm buying an A cup, folks. I don't have anything to push up. I get the padded so it willl look like I do, but then the padding is all in the bottom, so it just makes my boobettes look like they are flat and longer and it is wierd.
• No itchy tags. The hardest part of my life might be itchy tags. Even if I try to cut them out they seem to leave that little bit of extra itchy fabric that the scissors can't reach without cutting the fabric.

If anyone finds this bra, do let me know. Also I should stipulate that I don't want it to cost a bojillion dollars either. I don't have a lot to spend because I'm saving up for a boob job.