Complaining Blog

Why would God give us things like chocolate and then make it bad for us? I think it is all a cruel trick. Here are the pros to eating a diet of straight m&m's:
- Obviously: It tastes good!
- M&M's don't go bad like vegetables do. You can have the same package of m&m's in your bag for a month and it will still be okay to munch on them.
- They are so cheap compared to real food. You can buy the huge bag for like $3.
- So many pretty colors!
- Again, they taste so good!

Cons:
- You will get fat and perhaps die.
- Also if they are left out in the sun they sometimes get a little melty. But I would so rather eat melty chocolate than a hot salad. Have you ever tried to eat a salad that has been sitting in your hot car for an afternoon? Ew.

Now let's compare that to eating a "healthy" diet:
- Anyone who says they like eating salads more than candy is deluding themselves and probably putting so much dressing and stuff on it that it would have been just as healthy to eat candy!
- Vegetables go bad in a couple of days. They just don't have the shelf life that good over-processed candy does.
- You can't go to the store, buy one family size bag of lettuce and be able to live off of it for 3 weeks. You can't even keep it in your bag- you have to keep it in the fridge. Where is the convenience?

Pros:
- You won't get fat and die.

In conclusion we can clearly see that if you eat a diet of just m&m's you will be happy but fat. And if you eat just salad you will be miserable but skinny. Life is cruel.

It is becoming spring and I would like to submit my springtime opinion. I hate it. It's always tantalizing me with the possibility of warm weather only to plunge back into the depths of miserable cold again and again.

I only like it when it is actually nice weather, not nature's cruel tricks. Come on weather! When is it going to be nice outside? I have bike riding and laying out to do! Hurry up!

Use paragraphs. If you don't it just looks like one looooooong thought and it is impossible to read. Plus it makes you appear to be utterly incompetent when it comes to writing, and probably all thinking in general.

Isn't it nice to have things separated by the spacing of a paragraph? Even if you're not sure where to put them, just throw one in every couple of lines. It's better this way, really.