Complaining Blog

Huzzah for the author of this list. I fully agree with the whole thing, despite being guilty of most. I'll work on having better manners while pondering how I would add to the list. Number 11 would for sure be discussing money or politics in mixed company- a particular beef of mine lately.

I think I might be getting old. Last week I went into the mall and actually left the store because the music was too loud. But now I can't decide if I am old or if the stores are just more lame.

Is playing music distractingly loud now among the criteria for being a hip retail store? I'm not asking for elevator music or anything, but I do feel like my ears ought not be assaulted when I want to buy a t shirt. For one thing the employees in that store are going to go deaf at an early age, plus that dang loud music inhibits my clothing judgement and being fearful of making a bad decision I end up buying nothing. Furthermore, if I, in desperation for a cute new clothing item, continue to shop at that store despite the ear splitting racket I tend to get grumpy and I do not feel like that is my fault. It's just too loud in there! How is anyone supposed to stay sane?

I have yet to make a thorough study of the matter but I believe there is a direct correlation between the volume of the music and the trendy/cheap ratio. However, lacking the proper tools to complete such a study (namely- a decibel meter) I am just going to ahead and assume that if a store carries kind of cute clothes for cheap it is too loud in there. Or possibly that I'm an old lady. Either way I can only shop at JC Pennys now.

I have a lot of bad dreams. They're usually not like, horror dreams where someone is chasing me or I have to wear harem pants or anything like that, but oftentimes awkward or uncomfortable happenings haunt me in the night. I've heard that dreams have something to do with your subconscious thoughts. If that is the case I have one craaaazy subconscious mind. Strangely, I still love to sleep.

Two nights ago I experienced the worst, worst, worstiest dream ever possible. Worse than scorpions dream, the teeth falling out dream, toilet snakes dream (sometimes I dream that there are scorpions and snakes in the toilet together- for some reason its always percieved an inconvenience during the dream rather than being super scary- still horrible), having to go on a date with another man even though I'm married dream, being lost dream, someone at work stole my lunch dream, even worse than the dreaded naked dream. The worst dream ever possible in humanity happened to me and this was it: I dreamt that I got with Michael Jackson.

Oh, it was so awful! He kept singing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You". It was with the mid-80's Michael Jackson that was after his first nose job, but before his 27th. Also, as would logically be the case if you were in this situation, there were stage lights going on- like strobes and disco lights. I can never ever explain how horrible it was. Uh, Barf! I need a brain scrubbing!

How dare my brain subject me to such horrible things?! Dreams are officially NOT COOL. I am considering investing in the world's largest dream catcher because I am not down with this kind of stuff! How did this even happen? Why? Why me?! Ew, it's so gross!!!

Dreams, you suck! Stop getting in my head and ruining everything!

Wow. This is too weird. Too absolutely damn weird. I don't even know what is happening here.