| 4:35 PM |
Family II: A Letter to the Grumpy Ones |
Dear Everyone,
What I want for Christmas is for you all to back off and let me spend the stupid holiday in the manner I find most pleasant. I would like for you to all stop being offended by the choices we (me and JP) make regarding our holiday visit and remember that the only reason we are desending from our warm, lovely haven into your frigid, crap-tacular locale is because we love you and want to see you. Really you should be grateful that we would go to all the trouble of making such an arduous journey instead of being mad that we won't be attending your yearly snow-angel making competition.
I put a great deal of effort into making this time of year as not horrible as possible and when you all are being retards it makes it much more difficult. I would appreciate some effort on your part towards the whole "not horrible" goal. Please stop making sneaky remarks or giving the silent treatment when we talk about our plans to visit you because you don't think we are doing it right. It's Christmas, damn it! Just be jolly- its not that hard!
Also for Christmas I would like a Pogo Stick and jeans that don't make my legs look like chicken drumsticks.
Love,
Melodie
What I want for Christmas is for you all to back off and let me spend the stupid holiday in the manner I find most pleasant. I would like for you to all stop being offended by the choices we (me and JP) make regarding our holiday visit and remember that the only reason we are desending from our warm, lovely haven into your frigid, crap-tacular locale is because we love you and want to see you. Really you should be grateful that we would go to all the trouble of making such an arduous journey instead of being mad that we won't be attending your yearly snow-angel making competition.
I put a great deal of effort into making this time of year as not horrible as possible and when you all are being retards it makes it much more difficult. I would appreciate some effort on your part towards the whole "not horrible" goal. Please stop making sneaky remarks or giving the silent treatment when we talk about our plans to visit you because you don't think we are doing it right. It's Christmas, damn it! Just be jolly- its not that hard!
Also for Christmas I would like a Pogo Stick and jeans that don't make my legs look like chicken drumsticks.
Love,
Melodie
2 comments:
Seriously by the time Christmas gets here I want to punch it in the face. Anyone who says that this is "the most wonderful time of the year" is delusional. And why do people have to have such horrible family traditions? Whoever thought that I wanted to sit through a 2 1/2 hour talent show followed by a real-time reenactment of the Nativity is very much confused about what constitutes an enjoyable pastime. Why can't people just enjoy each other's company and talk?
Post a Comment