| 9:52 AM |
Cursed For Life: Bad Baby Names |
Some of the crap people are naming their kids these days seriously makes me want to throw up. I saw someone who had named their little boy JUMPER. As a name! How do they expect him to be a respectable adult with a name like that?! I can actually imagine (though I disagree) that they thought it would be cute for their little baby boy. Apparently that is all they ever expect him to be because you can not be a grown up with a name like Jumper. That is disgusting.
Also I hate Mc_____ (fill in the blank with anything). McTaisly, Mcinsly, McAinsley, McBrinley, Mcailla, Mclinley. Those names are vomiticious.
Furthermore, I loath creative name spelling. It is a display of parental ignorance that lasts, quite literally, the child's entire life. It's not cool to spell words incorrectly- names are no exception.
Now I have no beef with people naming their kids unique names as long as they are actual names and not strings of randomly chosen letters, words they like with a letter changed, weird combinations of several names or words, or just plain other words that are not names- just words. I understand that people with kids might not want their kid to be the 6th Jack in his elementary school class but that is no excuse to name him Jumper, or Brax (part Brother part Ajax??), or Brigdon, or Baden, or Torpel or whatever else weird stupid name.
Finally, girls should be named girl names. No more girls named Jordan, Riley, Ryan, etc. Girls have enough names to choose from without poaching from the more limited boys selection.
Sorry if you named your kid something weird and are now suffering the consequences of my wrath and disapproval and are consequently offended. Kind of serves you right for choosing poorly.
Also I hate Mc_____ (fill in the blank with anything). McTaisly, Mcinsly, McAinsley, McBrinley, Mcailla, Mclinley. Those names are vomiticious.
Furthermore, I loath creative name spelling. It is a display of parental ignorance that lasts, quite literally, the child's entire life. It's not cool to spell words incorrectly- names are no exception.
Now I have no beef with people naming their kids unique names as long as they are actual names and not strings of randomly chosen letters, words they like with a letter changed, weird combinations of several names or words, or just plain other words that are not names- just words. I understand that people with kids might not want their kid to be the 6th Jack in his elementary school class but that is no excuse to name him Jumper, or Brax (part Brother part Ajax??), or Brigdon, or Baden, or Torpel or whatever else weird stupid name.
Finally, girls should be named girl names. No more girls named Jordan, Riley, Ryan, etc. Girls have enough names to choose from without poaching from the more limited boys selection.
Sorry if you named your kid something weird and are now suffering the consequences of my wrath and disapproval and are consequently offended. Kind of serves you right for choosing poorly.
4 comments:
You gotta admit, it's ironic that you're complaining about this. After all, your name is Melodie, which is only a weird spelling of melody.
Also, I agree. Although my kid's name is weird.
True. But I didn't pick my name!
Ug. You know I totally agree. Although we named our baby Afton, which I know you don't like. But it is an actual name. Plus, aren't you so weirded out when you find out someone's name first and assume it is a boy only to find out later on it is a girl? The parents could have totally avoided that problem by naming their baby girl a GIRL NAME!
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