| 5:10 PM |
Like A Car Wreck that Never Ends, |
I Just Can't Seem to Look Away: Twilight
I hate Twilight. But I still went to see the movie today. Why? I don't know. I knew it would suck and I would make fun of it my head and sometimes out loud the whole way through. But I just couldn't help myself! It really is like a car wreck you guys.
I liked the books kind of. I thought they were entertaining-ish and easy reads and clean. They were not literary art or great writing or wonderful stories or any of the other things that make an ok story into a great book, but they were nice. But the movies are soooooo terrible! The acting! The scenery! The acting! The script! THE ACTING! It is all so bad that it makes my eyes water like when you eat something super sour and have to sneeze at the same time.
I hate Twilight. But I still went to see the movie today. Why? I don't know. I knew it would suck and I would make fun of it my head and sometimes out loud the whole way through. But I just couldn't help myself! It really is like a car wreck you guys.
I liked the books kind of. I thought they were entertaining-ish and easy reads and clean. They were not literary art or great writing or wonderful stories or any of the other things that make an ok story into a great book, but they were nice. But the movies are soooooo terrible! The acting! The scenery! The acting! The script! THE ACTING! It is all so bad that it makes my eyes water like when you eat something super sour and have to sneeze at the same time.
I think I could get past all those horrible things (except for maybe the acting) if it were not for the one truly horrible atrocity of the Twilight Saga: The hair and make up.
Aaaaggghh! How is it even possible to make normal human beings look that ridiculous?! In all 3 movies it seriously looks like a heavy handed 5th grader did the hair and make up. It is so bad. In the books the vampires were supposed to be all glam. In the movies the men look like trannies on their day off, but that they didn't wash off their tranny make up and the girls look like Stacy B. from high school (she wore pretty much the most makeup I have ever heard of. She was real nice and very pretty, but I swear it looked like she applied with a trowel). Or possibly the type of porn-stars that try to look classy. Gross. Also the hair is disgusting. I can't even stand to think about it- it just makes me mad.
I'm going to ask my make up artist friend if she cries when she watches twilight, or just barfs. Me? Barf. I hope I can restrain myself from watching the final horrifying installment, but considering Twilight's "so horrifying you can't look away" effect on me I am probably going to end up seeing it, and then you'll see another complaining blog post about this type of self-inflicted torture. The End.
5 comments:
Gross. I never read the books but maybe I will have to watch the movies just so we can talk about how horrible they are. Also 'The Client List', naturally.
Seriously- I would pay so much money to see 'The Client List' right now. I check Hulu like every day to see if it is on there yet.
I hate Twilight too. I watched the first movie and wanted to die the whole time. Worst/best quote, "Hold on tight spidermonkey." REALLY? WHY!?! And my roommate has a poster of Edward in our kitchen. The end. I don't know what 'The Client List' even is.
"The Client List" is a Lifetime movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt where she becomes a massage parlor prostitute because of the bad economy. Awesome!
Camie and I had a lot of chuckles sitting next to each other during the second movie. It's worth going to, just to make fun of the stupid stuff. I never read the books...they sounded WAY too much like Anita Stansfield's writing (no offense to those of her fans). I have the same weird addiction (with Twilight's movies), however...and might have to admit liking some of the soundtrack from the 1st movie...it's true and I don't think I'd EVER admit that to my husband. I think it's the "girl getting protected" (even if it's by scrawny, emaciated, death-pale vampires) theme that gets the rest of us girls liking it so much. Yeah...that's it.
By the way...hope you don't mind me commenting on your complaining blog. I just noticed you had it and I have to add my little thoughts too. :)
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