| 3:05 PM |
Because YOUR Town is Soooooo Fancy |
I would like to announce that everyone sucks. Everyone who says bad things about where I live, that is. Seriously, we went to UT (again) recently and it seems like every person who knows we live in CA needs to say every rude thing ever about it. "California is so (fart noise)! There is just so much (fart noise)! There are so many (fart noise)! It is so (fart noise)! The (fart noise) is so (fart noise)!". I've substituted fart noise for all the asinine things people say.
The variety of insults is astounding, especially considering that none of these people have been to California more that twice and while here have never been more than 30 yards from Disneyland. (Understandably. That's a hard trip to make riding a cow, which is the preferred method of transportation for the adults in this story. Their kids ride sheep. I wish I was joking that the kids ride sheep, but I'm not).
Here is all I have to say in response to that kind of jack-assery. I live in a really nice place. It is clean and safe and pretty and has a lot of fun things to do nearby. I really like it a lot. Plus, it is warm all year and one time I saw Posh Spice on the freeway.
Let's do a review of where the insulter lives, shall we? Seventeen 99 cent stores, no sidewalks in 40% of the town, people literally ride sheep for entertainment, the only ethnic diversity is the one adopted black kid (unless you count the polygamists as a diverse group), huge drug problem, all Title 1 schools, the air is filthy- possibly from all the fires to combat the frigid temperatures, and it is butt ugly. Sure, there's no traffic in their town- there is nowhere to go and no one to go there! The exception to that no-traffic rule is on rodeo day. Rodeo day is insane.
Also, soooooo many comment about how expensive it is! If it were really so terrible would like, 15 million people choose to live here? Probably not. It is true that I could afford a nicer house somewhere else. But guess what? I don't want to. I prefer my tiny condo house here to a mansion in ________. You can fill in that blank with the names of all the towns I don't live in.
Last thing- Someone said to me "Would you really want to raise kids there?" First of all, I don't have kids and won't for quite a while so how is that even a relevant question? But more importantly, Yes! It is a wonderful place to raise kids! Unless you are terrified that they might befriend the colored folk, go to awesome places (Disneyland!, etc.), or enjoy the majesty of the sea.
In conclusion, everyone's town sucks a little bit, including mine (only I don't care cuz I love it despite its flaws, which is how you do in a committed relationship). There are good things and bad things about everywhere only apparently no one considers it poor manners to mention the bad stuff any time they feel like it. Now that it's ok to insult places that other people love... Sanpete County, UT: You smell like turkey sh*$ and gave me a substandard education.You are boring. I hope I never see you again. That's right, not even for Pageant.(Sorry you still have to go there Emily.) That is all.
The variety of insults is astounding, especially considering that none of these people have been to California more that twice and while here have never been more than 30 yards from Disneyland. (Understandably. That's a hard trip to make riding a cow, which is the preferred method of transportation for the adults in this story. Their kids ride sheep. I wish I was joking that the kids ride sheep, but I'm not).
Here is all I have to say in response to that kind of jack-assery. I live in a really nice place. It is clean and safe and pretty and has a lot of fun things to do nearby. I really like it a lot. Plus, it is warm all year and one time I saw Posh Spice on the freeway.
Let's do a review of where the insulter lives, shall we? Seventeen 99 cent stores, no sidewalks in 40% of the town, people literally ride sheep for entertainment, the only ethnic diversity is the one adopted black kid (unless you count the polygamists as a diverse group), huge drug problem, all Title 1 schools, the air is filthy- possibly from all the fires to combat the frigid temperatures, and it is butt ugly. Sure, there's no traffic in their town- there is nowhere to go and no one to go there! The exception to that no-traffic rule is on rodeo day. Rodeo day is insane.
Also, soooooo many comment about how expensive it is! If it were really so terrible would like, 15 million people choose to live here? Probably not. It is true that I could afford a nicer house somewhere else. But guess what? I don't want to. I prefer my tiny condo house here to a mansion in ________. You can fill in that blank with the names of all the towns I don't live in.
Last thing- Someone said to me "Would you really want to raise kids there?" First of all, I don't have kids and won't for quite a while so how is that even a relevant question? But more importantly, Yes! It is a wonderful place to raise kids! Unless you are terrified that they might befriend the colored folk, go to awesome places (Disneyland!, etc.), or enjoy the majesty of the sea.
In conclusion, everyone's town sucks a little bit, including mine (only I don't care cuz I love it despite its flaws, which is how you do in a committed relationship). There are good things and bad things about everywhere only apparently no one considers it poor manners to mention the bad stuff any time they feel like it. Now that it's ok to insult places that other people love... Sanpete County, UT: You smell like turkey sh*$ and gave me a substandard education.You are boring. I hope I never see you again. That's right, not even for Pageant.(Sorry you still have to go there Emily.) That is all.
3 comments:
I love Disneyland. Also, I was just facebook stalking you a little bit and I like how the majority of your pictures are of Obie. That is all.
It drives me crazy how people give advise like they are telling you something you have never considered before. Like when they mention that California is expensive- seriously do they think you haven't considered that before? That you didn't know? Everybody does what is best for them. If they thought something was better they would do it that other way. So everybody just mind your own business!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Funniest post EVER! I wish I lived where you live.
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