Concerned reader, Adrienne, sent me the following message regarding the carts at IKEA: "I swear they have cameras in the break room and all the employees just sit there and watch us, laughing as we, innocent customers, walk around like retards trying to control those things."
And then she told me a story about getting stuck in a pothole in the IKEA parking lot, her cart being full of picture frames and children. All because she couldn't control her "special needs" cart. So then I had to laugh for a while. Then it got me to thinking. Adrienne makes an excellent point. Why on earth does IKEA have such wonky carts? My theories range from passive aggressive anger at the arrogant Americans from the Swedes; a hobo being on their Cart Design Team and that was his expert advice; or maybe just Europeans legitimately don't know how carts work. You know, cause they don't have things like Costco and Walmart over there. They go down to their fancy shops to get their bread and cheese and that's what they eat for the day. They aren't loading up on extra large boxes of fish crackers and jumbo deluxe packages of toilet paper.
I was at IKEA just the other day and I seriously could not stop the cart from running into their display furniture. Just when you think you've found the sweet spot for pushing it veers out of control and runs into an EKTORP sofa or something. So, for all you Europeans out there, here is how a cart is supposed to work: all the wheels go in the same direction; when you push forward, the cart goes forward; when you wish to turn, the cart turns at the same push-to-turn-ratio of effort you are exerting instead of spinning wildly out of control. It is not a hard concept, although apparently one that is foreign to some people (specifically, the IKEA Cart Designers).
Also I love your meatballs. That is all.